Dating, being in a relationship and falling in love are really fun things. Unfortunately, a majority of guys are clueless when it comes to these things. It’s especially painful to watch 17-year olds go through break-ups and have thoughts of wanting to end their lives because the guy had no clue.
I think the problem is that guys need some clear steps in what to do. The reason guys like to play soccer is because the game, while complicated, has clear boundaries and rules that they understand. So, I’d like to present some rules of thumb of dating for guys. Hopefully these tips will help guys out there to be a little less clueless when it come to dating.
Call her at least once a day. This is the most important rule of thumb, no two ways about it. If you can’t call, send her an SMS or email. With SMS or email, you need to do better. Send at least 3 SMS and make sure you put an effort into the email.
Say something nice about her everytime you see her. Note the salient points: what you say must be about her, i.e. “Hey, you look nice today” NOT “Hey, your phone is super cool”. However, it is ok to say you like her clothes, because it goes back to her fashion sense and looks, and all girls like to be fashionable and look good.
Buy her something nice once in a while. Girls like to be pampered, and they always appreciate simple gestures like buying her a simple present. It doesn’t need to be expensive, something under RM10 is enough, unless she’s a spoilt, money-minded brat. By the way, that’s a present, NOT lunch. It’s not as easy as it sounds to buy her something cheap yet meaningful. It requires thought and effort, and that’s what makes it meaningful. If you go away for a while on a business trip / school trip, you absolutely MUST get her a souvenir.
Put some effort into the way you look. You chased, and now you’ve landed the girl. That doesn’t mean you don’t need to look nice when you’re going out with her now. Make sure you brush your teeth. And use soap when you bathe. Don’t forget to wash your underarms and use deodorant at least.
Treat her how she deserves to be treated. Speak politely to her. Don’t raise your voice at her and sure as hell DON’T EVER hit her. Remember she’s not your mother and don’t expect her to pamper you. Don’t be a cheapo and expect her to pay for dinner. Don’t make her wait unnecessarily. Talking about waiting, there’s ONE EXCEPTION. If it ever comes down to a decision where its your girlfriend or your mom who has to wait, make sure it’s not mom. Mom carried you for 9 months, she deserves no sh*t from you at all.
She’s the priority. If she’s your girlfriend, it means she’s more special than other girls, and you have to treat her that way. That means she’s more important than you Playstation or Xbox. More important than work (but not as important as school because your parents will ban you from seeing her if your grades suffer). You CANNOT have her as your girlfriend but spend more time with your lab partner. If you really are spending more time with your lab partner, give it up, we all know she’s more than a lab partner.
That’s all I’ve got for the moment. If you have any more, feel free to leave a comment below.
December 5th, 2005 at 3:54 am
aww…
i love you although you’re not a 100% perfect as per the above entry——points towards point 3.
December 5th, 2005 at 3:58 am
I wish my bf have read this. Anyway we broke up due to his ignorance, insensitivy and egoism. Thank God I found out about it before sacrifice the rest of my life over him.. still, so heart broken…
December 5th, 2005 at 4:08 am
Can someone please make this into a forwarded email?
My bf is guilty of the first rule.
All the bfs in the world need to read this. You’re a good man, itchyhands.
December 5th, 2005 at 4:31 am
Wrong, wrong and wrong.
Girls. What you all wanted is a man. A real man. Not a dog. What makes a man?
And Guys, for haven sake. Take pride to be a man. Not a dog.
In animal kingdom for example a pack of Wolf. Do you know the leader in a pack of Wolf? It is the “Alpha Male”.
Guys, be the “Alpha Male”. The girls will attract to you.
December 5th, 2005 at 4:48 am
What are the differences between a Dog and an Alpha Male?
1. When the dog’s master say sit, the dog sits. The Alpha Male leads, not following.
2. Dog begging for food. The Alpha Male hunts for food.
and many more……
The Alpha Male eats the hunted food first. They lead in front of the pack. They go down in fight first. They protect their family. What is the Alpha Male in you?
Guys, be the Alphe Male in you. Not till the stage when the girl said “sit” and you sit. They will never respect you.
December 5th, 2005 at 6:07 am
@conniexan, I deleted your double comment. You’ll get over it. Sometimes guys just aren’t ready yet.
@Jayelle, no! please don’t make this into a forwarded forwarded email – I hate them! Nice to know that you still drop by though.
@Chong, the above advice only applies only if you actually care about the girl. Real men look after their women, and make sacrifices for their women.
@peichyi, the reverse applies you know. And I love you too ;o)
December 6th, 2005 at 12:11 pm
Hm.. i think i can score pretty well with all those points.. except with the priority part.. my gf says i’m either in ‘website mode’ (mean developing/designing websites lar) or ‘sleeping mode’ if i don’t reply her SMSes… lol..
likewise, i think all gals should read that too.. of coz there are some ppl like Chong, but most guys (like David for instance) have feelings… guys want to be cared of too.. to at least feel appreciated..
December 7th, 2005 at 12:50 am
i think it’s true. some of it anyway. i think if it was high maintenance kind of girls. We aren’t all crazy, but most of us are.
July 10th, 2008 at 4:09 am
I think every girl would say she wanted a guy that followed the above guidelines. Then when she had him she’d treat him like dirt, make him jump through hoops and then dump him for some brainless, self worshiping jock on the athletics team (who does none of the above). She’d subsequently complain to her friends about how terrible her relationship is - and love every minute of it!
What women say they want and what they pursue are two different things - period.